What to Drink When You’re Not Drinking for (Dewy or Dry) January: 2024 Edition

Okay, Dry January! If you are doing it, you may be in a state where you are bored with every beverage and need new tastes—so for you dry jannies, here I am. Granted, I’m not doing it…but as I said last year , this column is designed for everyone at any time one’s life may call for abstaining from alcohol (pregnancy, antibiotics, driving, headshot shoot the next day anyone?) Sometimes you just need your silly drinks—I usually have two to three in play from hydration to caffeine to entertainment, so… Anyway, yay for FLAVOR year round. But if you ARE doing Dry January, at this point, maybe you are bored of water. Oh, also, to all y’all doing damp January—would you still do it if it was called moist January? Just curious because I know people hate that word, so, oooh oooh, teacher, pick me; how about Dewy January? I digress. Seriously, all I ever want is for everyone’s tastebuds to be entertained. And I don’t necessarily think that requires booze-free booze. I did include some, but also a lot of other things that make my tastebuds dance. And for those who, like me, prefer moderation year round, I included a couple of low-alcohol wines for when you want to experience a flight a little bit closer to the sun. Here we go! FOR BASIC ELECTROLYTE B@*$HES My sodium-deficient self lives for a replenishing sip that tastes and hydrates better than water sprinkled with salt. Gatorade Zero Flavors: Fruit Punch To be clear, I also like two blue flavors in rotation. And I really like the grape flavor when I can get it. The yellow and orange ones are almost too clinical. And MY GOSH, I have TRIED to love the richly pink-hued Berry flavor, but it is FRUIT PUNCH that hits it all: acid, rich fruit, fresh fruit, and just the omg CAN OF TROPICAL PUNCH-ness of it all? I can sip or swill it. Like a really acidic, thrilling Pinot. I jest, I don’t jest. LMNT Grapefruit Salt Last year, I waxed on about how I love LMNT, the little electrolyte-laden packets you can stir into your own preferred level of dilution. Citrus Salt and Cocoa salt remain my two favorites, but they debuted a grapefruit flavor working its way into my top three. Especially if you love grapefruit. It is the right amount of sweetness and killer acid, and yeah, it tastes like a perfectly ripe, deep pink grapefruit (with a sprinkle of salt—just trust me). FOR BASIC BLENDER YOU-KNOW-WHATS Look, there is no better time to blend the heck out of things than when you want to create a textured beverage to amuse your flavor/texture receptors. After all, I think one of alcohol’s attractors is the texture created by alcohol and tannins. Here are two blender bangers I keep on repeat. Turmeric Tonic -2 cups water -1/2 lemon, peeled and seeded -1 inch turmeric root, loosely chopped -pinch cayenne -pinch salt -droplets to taste liquid stevia Add ingredients to the blender and blend until smooth. Strain over cheesecloth into a glass—or if brave, don’t strain, but be ready for sediment and pulp. Beet-Cherry Smoothie -1/2 cup frozen cherries -1/2 cup baked beets, chopped -¼ cup cottage cheese -1 scoop protein powder (I love MRM vegan) -to your taste: vanilla and almond extract -ice to taste (if you want a super thick smoothie, add some) Blend, blend, blend. Drink. Yay. FOR BASIC BOOZE-FREE BLANKETY-BLANKS Honestly, I rarely taste a dupe cocktail I like. I tasted this nearly a year ago, and of all the zero abv things I’ve tasted in the last year (it’s been a lot), this one is the one I loved enough to take notes on. Phony Negroni So far as I tell, doing it UP! And RIGHT! This comes across as a Campari-forward Negroni, which I am into. It has a touch of carbonation, bringing the Negroni Sbagliato vibe, which I really appreciate—the more bubbles, the less you miss the alcoholic burn. Tasty and spritzy—especially if you can serve in a chilled glass with an orange peel garnish. FOR BEYOND BASIC-TCHES Lemonade from wherever Do you know what always slaps? Flipping lemonade. Take a friggin’ midday walk, burn a few calories off, then burn more exploding from how cute kiddos selling lemonade are, then put the calories back on because kid-assessed lemonade sweetness is rife (oh yeah) SWEET yet oh so fulfilling. But I found lemonade is also fulfilling from the friggin’ theatre (shoutout Laemmle), where you need SOMETHING to wash down the popped corn. From some kids selling it to me on the corner of the Silver Lake Reservoir to the movie theater, don’t sleep on lemonade. CocaCola Freestyle Have you encountered these machines?! The only ones I know of currently are at AMC Theatres, but it's worth the trip! They allow you to Frankenstein the soda beverage of your dreams (or nightmare). It allows every combination of soda styles (Coke, Sprite, Fanta, Root Beer, etc.) with flavors from lime to vanilla to cherry and beyond. Also, there’s stuff like lemonade and Powerade. What-the-literal-what? AND you can mix all of the above. Sure, you could select one flavor and fill your cup—and there is a review of all 100-plus base flavors here , but I like to mash it up even more. I tend towards a blend of vanilla and cherry coke zero plus a splash of lemonade. At any rate, even if the movie is boring, your mouth will be entertained. FOR BASIC BENDER-AVOIDANT BIRCH-TREES I have tasted a few and found the best results in Pinot Noirs (amazingly enough for this fickle grape) and Sauvignon Blanc. I appreciate two brands (Brigid and Sunny With a Chance of Flowers). They are there for me when I want a wine taste on a beer alcohol-level budget. 2022 Forrest Wines Brigid Marlborough Pinot Noir Brigid wines are exciting in that the low alcohol level comes from winegrowing manager Beth Forrest’s vineyard practices—working with a leaf-to-fruit ration that limits sugars. Beautifully transparent with steaming hot ripe red cherries and raspberries on the nose. The palate brings all that plus a smoky, slightly herbal undercurrent I dig, ending with a bit of floral white pepper crossed with a Sweetarts vibe. I like it a lot. 2021 Sunny With a Chance of Flowers There may be a more recent vintage out, but this is the vintage I had - crisp, lemony, floral, and lightly grassy. Bright with surprising weight for a low abv. It’s good. I could take down the whole bottle (but I won’t). ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Want to read more from Ellen? Check out her recent articles: Mad, Mad, Madeira World Crémant On Unexpected Reds Finding Pleasure in Puglia Black Cat Wines, Black Cat Vineyards Old World vs. New World: Pinot Grigio/Gris You can also listen to Ellen's podcast , The Wine Situation here . Check out her recent transcripts of the Final Five questions: Wine Situation Final Five! Marilee Bramhall Wine Situation Final Five! Natalie MacLean