I heard someone say that the Academy Awards should restructure their typical format so every 15-20 minutes, a best picture nominee is eliminated. Which would be hilarious, like the Squid Game Oscars. And if only they served drinks to match the films! The following are my hot takes on the noms and what you should drink with them. In the spirit of competition, I will order these pairings from least favorite to my best picture. Bottoms up! Emilia Perez Good gosh, the only redeemable part of this movie, I guess, is Zoe Saldana’s performance. . .I was disenchanted even before we found out that Karla Sofía Gascón, the lead actress, is racist AF. What doesn’t work: the songs aren’t songs, the story is wack, the acting is spotty—not gonna name names, but there were some real weak links. Do not watch. But if you do… Pair with: Mezcal. I used to hate mezcal, but I am coming around to it. I hated the movie, but maybe Mezcal will make me like it a little bit more. It at least has a high enough abv to distract me. Conclave Bitchy priests trying to decide who should be the next Pope. I honestly didn’t care. It was a bunch of mostly white dudes, the occasionally not-white man, and even rarer women arguing and gossiping. So many collars, so many sighs, so many whispered convos. On the upside, there are fun overhead shots of clergy parading together like red-and-black penguins. And there are great performances: Stanley Tucci Tucces it up. Ralph Fiennes is more than fine. Pair with Tears of Christ! Blood of Christ would be preferable but is less attainable for the average layperson. And by tears of Christ, I mean Lacryma Christi del Vesuvio, that fun fun appellation out of Campania. I cracked into a 2022 Mastroberardino Lacryma Christi del Vesuvio Bianco, mostly made from the Coda di Volpe grape with perhaps some Falanghina thrown in. On the nose, linens and sand surround orchard fruit, white peaches and wildflowers. The tart palate brings a bit of sour fruit. Lemons and grapefruits are all smoothed by almost a lime cordial, and again, the linen notes align with a slightly textured body. Amen. Dune Part 2 Dune is a DEEP world to explore. The first Dune grabbed me. The sequel felt…not entirely hollow but like I was looking at a far-away picture of the characters: their trials and tribulations were evident but not deeply felt. Anyway, it’s hot in the desert and this movie makes me thirsty, so… Pair with electrolytes! I am a massive fan of the LMNT packets, particularly the citrus salt and chocolate salt flavors. I find them crave-able and oh-so thirst-quenching when recycled still-suit water alone won’t quench you. The Brutalist I felt like I’d watched six movies by the time this movie was over. And it also has the most unappealing sex scenes I’ve seen in some time. BUT it has the most compelling performances and visual drop-to-your-knees moments of the year. It follows a Hungarian immigrant architect who gets taken in by a wealthy man (played spectacularly by the smashing Guy Pierce) who has main character energy AF, ergo… Pair with Madeira! The Guy Pierce character collects for every day of the year. Madeira every day! Imagining that, I am going with the Rainwater, a category of Madeira that is a touch lighter and less sweet than some of the archipelago’s other offerings. To wit: Broadbent Rainwater Medium Dry Madeira has a smoky, nutty nose of cashew butter with a lick of caramel. Sweetness gives way to a pleasingly tart kick and a long finish of Werthers and walnut finish. A Complete Unknown This portrait of the always-mysterious Bob Dylan chronicles his rise to fame in the folk tradition up to his electric rebellion. The musical performances are chef’s kiss. The story engages and yields musings on what art is. Why should we be beholden to what people say we should be? Ergo… Pair with Something old (in variety) but new in style—in this case, a Picpoul from Napa. Somehow, it’s poetic. I am really relishing the 2023 Anaba Sonoma Valley Picpoul Blanc. It’s pithy and sapid and herbaceous but with a silken underbelly and mouth-coating citrus core, featuring bright punches of citrus without being prickly. Mineral undertones speak France, where fruit wealth says New World. It’s the new old. It is a surprise melody of mineral and juice. I’m Still Here There are always at least a couple of movies I don’t get SAG-AFTRA screeners for, and this movie fell between that and not being available to screen. I am SO sorry. Blame The Brutalist for being 2 ½ movies that I couldn’t make it to one last film. Goddesses, forgive me. Pair with whatever your guilty pleasure is to assuage my guilt. Wicked I’m about 2 ½ views in, and there is so much to love. The sumptuous (though a touch heavy on CGI visuals) sets, the stomp vivacious choreo, and above all the music and musical performances. Grande and Erivo will move you to tears. Me, at least. Pair with: Go with me here--Monster Energy Ultra Vice Guava. You need a lot of energy to make it at Shiz. The can is green and pink. The beverage is as effervescent as Ariana Grande and delicious as Cynthia Erivo’s rendition of Defying Gravity. The caffeine may help you soar, too. The Substance Body horror is not necessarily my bag, but this film is GREAT. It makes relevant points about looks-ism and ageism and is also gross and original—at times maddening, at times hilarious. I’m placing my bets on Demi Moore getting Best Actress, too. Pair with: Things you should not be drinking? Tide pods? OR! In homage to the green “substance,” perhaps some Chartreuse? It’s just as rare these days and way delicious; you’ll feel young at heart. Nickel Boys Stunningly shot, oft from one of the protagonists’ perspectives, this film is a brutal account of two young men at an abusive reform school (abusive, at least, to the young black men) in the early 1960s. It captures all we logically know with the added layer of real life we don’t know enough or pay enough attention to. Pair with ice-cold water. Stay alert. Don’t numb yourself out. Listen. Remember. Anora This movie marketed itself as a love story between a sex worker and the son of a Russian oligarch, and there are elements of that, but wow, it is so much more. It is moving, hilarious, heartbreaking, and star-crossed hopeful. Pair with Vodka, heavy. So heavy you warm up to this dark tale of love and inevitability, hope and despair. I went with Russian Standard Gold Vodka. There’s a lilt of vanilla, a hint of grains. It is smooth-velvety-smooth. And there we have it! May the best movie (Anora imho) win! Want to read more from Ellen? Check out her recent articles: Tube-Wines Interview with the Winemaker: Adam Casto Wine Situation Final Five: Fahara Zamorano Wow Oak, Wowwww You can also listen to Ellen's podcast The Wine Situation here.