Christopher McGauran

8.9

I opened this. I drank some. I did not like it so much. I pumped and sealed it. Opened it the evening after. Wait a minute. Did it need to breather for 24? Now we are more in business. Sort of like the reverse date. You say to yourself she’s ugly. Maybe it was the dress, the makeup. Expectations were high after some communication up to the meet cute. She came back and showed the goods. The dress came off. It was a nice session with a little more giving than receiving. But I am a giver. It can be fun. The reception was good enough. If I see her again I’ll say hello politely but that is all. “Nice to see you” I’ll say. Or “hi I remember you, that was fun.” But I’ll go to the bar and grab a bourbon and excuse myself. — a year ago

Christopher McGauran

7.5

This is specially made pink urine in a fancy (actually well designed bottle) packaging to trick the trixies and trents into drinking the “specially selected house wine just for Hampton social.” Avoid at all costs. The immense hangover from a mere three glass fills worth from a generous barkeep shall render you defenseless and unable to sieze the day. Your wife and cat and dog will petition you get out of the featherbed, but the dichotomization of your skull will only cause you to mutter “leave me alone and let me die with a sweet blood clotting aneurysm.” You might even tell loved ones to go fuck themselves. This will cost you two days in the dog house. Again, Avoid at all costs. — 7 years ago

Christopher McGauran

8.0

It’s ok. A tad overrated. Decant it. It will shine then like a bad uncle who just won bingo. Look elsewhere to be impressed like your stepmoms winefridge. I expected better out of duckhorn. — 7 years ago

Christopher McGauran

8.9

Wonderful summer wine that made my big toe shoot right outta my boot! — 3 years ago

Christopher McGauran

9.4

All day / all night summer sipper that impresses your slow coworker and your wife’s impossible snob squad member all at the same time. It’s a real unity wine where the philistine asshole and the lowly commoner will all converse and exchange pleasantries...until it’s gone. Then it’s time to return back to where everyone came from. Keep lots on hand and be like Obama — 7 years ago

Christopher McGauran

8.0

Plain but drinkable and maybe even pleasant depending on how your day went. Do you deserve a better wine tonight? Or did you dick some poor sap over earlier? If you did, meomi is suitable for your poor behavior. If you were a complete hero, throw this off a balcony in celebration and enjoy the sweet smashing on the Ford Taurus 3 stories down. Then open something to celebrate. — 7 years ago

Christopher McGauran

10

Simply an amazing Cabernet that will knock your grapes off your pants! Do me all night long le pich!!! — 7 years ago

Christopher McGauran

9.0

This is smoother than the skin rolls on my newborn son. It makes me feel like a “sophisto” at the corova milk bar. All we are missing is a little of the old “Ludwig Van” — 6 years ago

Christopher McGauran

9.7

A smoker guaranteed to get you into those pants before it’s even opened. Once it’s opened, those pants shall eviscerate right before your very eyes. And you will look down. And your pants are off too. Let the symphony of loinflowering begin. — 7 years ago

Christopher McGauran

8.8

An Italian black eye that hurts so purple. In a good way. Like a punch in the face from grimace from McDonald’s after he’s spilled a bit of chocolate on his paw, or whatever the fuck that hand of his is. there’s a bit of a Coccoa flavor here. This needs to be drunk out of the largest wine glass you can find. That way you can swing it around and swill it’s beautiful purple color and say “ look at me and my purple poop ring around my pie hole! How about one for everyone here, I’m buying.” (This happened ) and they all had red mustaches in no time along with stained teeth. It was beautiful. — 7 years ago