Vino Film Veritas

Wine movies! I hate some, love others, and will fight for my opinions to the last sip. I opted to cover fictional ones this time, as the documentaries (of which there are quite a few standouts) deserve a review of their own. We are rating in glasses of Merlot for Sideways reasons. In chronological order of release: A WALK IN THE CLOUDS (1995) A bit of a (white) man-saves-the-damsel, but, oh geez. Can I just love on Keanu Reeves for keeping it Reeves-y? Also, on the second watch, it struck me more as him being saved, although either take could be problematic. It takes place post-WWII. Keanu, an orphan and recent veteran, meets a woman on the bus to Sacramento. She is a touch knocked up and doesn’t want to tell her fam, given it is the child of her prof. Keanu, ahem, PAUL, his name is Paul, volunteers to show up and say it’s his. He has a wife back home, but after all, she didn’t read his letters because war stuff gives her the ick. Also, the woman insists Papa will slay her if she is pregnant sans spouse, so what’s a kind-hearted war veteran having doubts about his wife to do? But Victoria's family, her name is VICTORIA (played by Aitana Sánchez-Gijòn), takes him into her winemaking family and gosh, doesn’t it feel good! The food and wine at their candlelit dinners certainly outdid his native Moline, Illinois (no offense if you are from Moline, Illinois). Oh, and also, Victoria is capital H-O-T hot, so that doesn’t hurt. Blah blah blah, the connections get deeper; Paul is learning the ropes of the vineyard, even though he was planning to cut and run…I don’t want to ruin the rest for you. I actually think this is one of Keanu’s best roles, acting-wise. Oh, but the wine! Montages of grapes and beautiful vineyard vistas. There is a bit of reality—the family’s vineyard must deal with frost and wildfire. Pairing: a JUICY glass of Zinfandel Rating: 3 out of 5 glasses of Merlot SIDEWAYS (2004) You know we had to go there—the movie that sent Merlot to the gallows. It made people think all Pinot was glory, and all Merlot was trash, and, honestly, it made most men out to be trash, too. Based on the novel of the same name, it follows buddies Miles and Jack on a lil’ trip to Santa Barbara for a week (a WEEK! Who has the time—well, They are semi-employed actors/writers, so…) of wine-tasting and fun, but early on Jack makes it clear he thinks of it as his freebie trip aka he’s gonna find at least one more woman to lie with before his nuptials. Meanwhile, Miles tries to get him to behave and is dealing with his own life bulls@*t given a recent (sorta) divorce. Spit bucket shenanigans ensue. I hate this movie on many levels, given that it glorifies men getting away with being jerks and that it was Merlot’s unjust undoing. But I can give it its due props. To get it over with: Amazing acting, brilliant dialogue and surprise, surprise, a decent amount of factual wine info. Pairing: MERLOT! Rating: 3 out of 5 glasses of Merlot BOTTLE SHOCK (2008) I probably have the most to say about this movie, so please forgive my being a bit verbose. OMG, did you KNOW! Did you know once upon a time that Napa was just some ragtag valley? It’s a tale as old as, well, 1976, the Judgement of Paris, in which Napa wines, specifically 1973 Chateau Montelena Chardonnay and Stag’s Leap Cabernet Sauvignon bested French wine in a blind tasting. The contest was created by Steven Spurrier (RIP) and played by venerable actor Alan Rickman (also RIP). Look, I’ll watch anything that even looks or sounds like Rickman. I’m madly in love with him (yes, I know he’s no longer with the living, but for this goth, that’s almost even hotter). So that’s an upside to the movie. Even though this film is known for being wildly inaccurate, it is fun. Even Steven Spurrier, who declared it very erroneous on many counts, also admitted it was fun. It mainly focuses on the Montelena side of the story, with Chris Pine playing cellar rat (now CEO) Bo Barrett of Montelena. There’s a hot female intern (if you want to be a woman in a movie pre-2016, who am I kidding? You still need to be at least quirky hot or voluptuous-hot) who gets soaked in a white shirt and short shorts and high boots while all the other workers look on, lasciviously, so that’s gross. It detours for quite some time to follow Bo on his lost soul journey en route to getting the wine in the contest. And we all know how that turned out. Okay, I didn’t hate it. Actually, I thought it was cool to see Napa before it was Napa, for sure, although it is named for the wine’s need to rest after either travel or bottling to overcome “bottle shock,” which can compromise wine flavors and looks. They make it a plot point, which, ahem, did not actually happen, but gosh, it ramped up the drama in the film. One last thing—it’s funny, I’ve never been a Bill Pullman fan, and I adore him in this. He’s loveable as the guy trying to make the best f#$king wine. Pairing: A handsome Napa Cab or Chardonnay , of course! Rating: 2.8 out of 5 glasses of Merlot WINE COUNTRY (2019) Ugh, I had such high hopes for this. Comedy heavyweights: Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolf, and Tina Fey, anyone? Oh yes, and also Jason Schwartzman (in case you like your movies with a microdose of testosterone). The premise is girlfriends headed to Napa to celebrate Rebecca’s (played by Rachel Dratch) birthday. It is set up to be a wacky girlfriends-in-wine-country flick, but it…I have difficulty pinpointing it, but it is not the best. The wine stuff is all silly, but that is not the problem. I think this movie’s biggest fault is that it’s like a collection of funny scenes about women trying to have a good weekend and running into differences in a comedic way. There’s just no strong throughline. Nor reason why we want to keep watching them. At the risk of saying something drilled into you, whether an actor or writer, there needs to be more conflict. There are a few scenic views and jokey “I love it, it tastes like wine” type scenes, but there’s little chance for much wine fun. They could have named it something else, as the wine does little for the plot. Pairing: It takes place in Napa, but this is a girl movie; give it Rosé Rating: 1.5 out of 5 glasses of Merlot UNCORKED (2020) This is a GREAT movie. It has a clear arc. It has solid A, B, C and D stories. It has drama but not without laughter. The performances sing (Niecy Nash, omg!), and the dialogue snaps. It brilliantly parallels barbeque and winemaking—not just because the quality of both can ride on your choice of wood. That sounded weird, and I didn’t mean it to. It follows Elijah, who is expected to take on the family BBQ business. Still, he works at a wine shop and decides to go down the all-encompassing world of wine accreditations (clearly meant to be like the Court of Master Sommeliers). In between, he juggles a girlfriend, a mom with cancer, and a father who doesn’t want his apple to fall that far from the tree. How they portray the Court is a bit overdone, like candidates blind-tasting and identifying precise bottles down to the producer (typically, variety, region, and vintage would be the closest you’d be expected to pinpoint them), and then there was D’Lynn Proctor proclaiming that blind-tasting is the most important part of the program...which it is the showiest, but I doubt anyone would say it is the most important. Things that they make seem hard, like when they are studying and perplexed by things you need to know to become just a certified somm, like the anbaugebietes of Germany, or how to pronounce their varietal names: Muller-Thurgau and Spätburgunder. These facts should roll off your tongue by the time you are trying to become a master somm. Those are little things. It gets some things right, such as how hard you must study and how vital your peers are to your success. Elijah bonding with peers while studying with them and/or mocking each other was hilarious. It is drama, laughter, release, brilliant, and literally my favorite wine movie ever made. Producer/director/writer Prentice Penny is a gift. Pairing: Penfolds or Albert Bichot , both of which are prominent in the movie Rating: 5 out of 5 glasses of Merlot WIDOW CLICQUOT (2023) Wowza, mon dieu, was I EXCITED to watch this. Not so much for my love of Veuve Clicquot (I haven’t any love for that yet, although I aspire to try more than the yellow label), but for my love of a good feminist wine story. Lest you don’t know it, “veuve” means widow, and it was the Widow Clicquot who…wait for it…invented riddling! This is not an enigma, but the process of rotating sparkling wine bottles at an angle to get the lees (dead yeast cells) into the neck of the bottle so they can be taken out. It is a VERY important part of the traditional method of sparkling winemaking. The movie commences with Barbe-Nicole Clicquot arriving at the Champagne vineyard. We see her love for Francois and her utter grief on his untimely passing, leaving her widowed with her daughter at age 27. I literally was sniffling three minutes into the movie. The intrigue starts immediately as Monsieur Moët desires to walk the vineyards “in remembrance” when he really wants to take it away from Barbe-Nicole. White dudes being white dudes. Ready to pounce. Flashback to the Clicquots in bed: Barbe-Nicole is wildly pregnant and giving Francois tasting notes. She was always a prodigy. She turns away the men wishing to alleviate her of the vines. At that time, widows were the only women allowed to run their own businesses, though there were plenty of men happy to take the responsibility off their hands. But Barbe-Nicole resisted. That’s my smart girl. Oh, btw, the actors speak English, if you aren’t up for subtitles or voiceovers. It is a moody and shadowy movie, at least up top. The mansplaining thunderclouds are even moodier. But it volleys into a passionate love letter to viticulture and winemaking almost ballasted by the Veuve Clicquot’s grief for her late husband—but then flashbacks to his mental instability swirl about and disrupt the memories we thought were romance. These twists and turns kept me going, along with candle-lit dramatics. I found it compelling but also a smidge meandering. But gosh, dang, Widow Clicquot was a badass, and shouldn’t we all be? Pairing: Rosé Champagne , duh, or honestly any wine made by a pioneering woman Rating: 3.5 out of 5 glasses of Merlot -------------------------------------- Want to read more from Ellen? Check out her recent articles: Back to School: Wine 201 Second To... A Valpolicella For All Ellen in Lalaland: Atwater Village Voyage! The New Garagistes All the Cutwaters, All Lined Up BIANCO: An Italian Love Story Ode to Txakoli Bolt These for Beltane You can also listen to Ellen's podcast, The Wine Situation here . Check out her recent transcripts of the Final Five questions: Wine Situation Final Five! Elyse Wilson Wine Situation Final Five! Kristin Fione