Wine is Virgo, Virgo Wine

The Virg-dom of Northern Hemisphere grapes came to my attention late one evening over a heady glass of Tavel and a copy of “Yes Way Rosé”, the leaning in rosé tome by Erica Blumenthal and Nikki Huganir. I don’t know how much stock I put in astrological thingz, but what I do know is that if you consider harvest date to be equivalent to birthdate, then many grapes would be Virgos. I too am Virgo. Also, Beyoncé. What makes a Virgo? We aren’t necessarily virgins, nor will I suggest taking up swigging Blue Nun. Or EVOO. Please do not swig EVOO unless you want to do a master cleanse but how ‘bout not. We have a reputation of being a bit uptight and meticulous and reliable. And good god we like our work. In fact, I’m such a workaholic wine didn’t become REALLY fun until it was also work. I live to work. So does Beyoncé. It’s an earth sign, so beneath our workaholic ways we are connected to our roots and creatures with animal needs and a wild side. Did I mention Beyoncé? Oh! But Virgos and shower wine? Taking wine into the shower might sound like the most un-Virgo-y of acts but it is actually the most. We like cleanliness. And we are secretly hedonists. If we can be hedonistic and get clean at the same time? Wicked. Whatever your most expensive wine is take that. Get bad and get clean. It is a new day. So here are my picks, curated. For you. For me. Also, Beyoncé. 1) Perhaps the most Virgo drink of all SHOULD be Vodka . Clean, neat, efficient…and really? Vodka cares about you, and gets the job done. But you are here for wine. 2) The most Virgo region of all is Burgundy . Is there a region more precise and exacting? Is there a region so connected to the land? More detail-oriented, yet rigorously sensuous? There is not. Burgs for the Virgs. In fact I am guessing here but I bet that DRC has a whole passel of Virgos steering the ship. But, DRC is unattainable for most everyone. Except maybe Beyoncé. But the Virgo-est of BURG is Chablis. Because the most Virgo grape is Chardonnay . We are sturdy and no matter what the climate and soil are we are gonna keep on making wine. 2017 Domaine Barat Chablis 1er Cru Vaillons An over-deliverer with minerals for days but! Also excellent honey lemon fun. It is austere but decadent. It is efficiently delicious. 3) For our laced up proper nature I had to go with a wine from a country known for a culture steeped in not just tea but also decorum. Chapel Down Classic Non-Vintage Brut This speaks to the properness and elegance of an English manor yet…imagine being on the moor…a swan glides by…and it’s cold as f for a June day so your cheeks are ruddy and you can’t wait for something hearty. The bubbles are fine and plush and elegant and the flavors speak of land and survival. 4) I won’t ignore our downsides. Because our negative traits help create great wine! Harsh and judgmental? Well yes, yes, Nebbiolo is harsh (in youth) and it has to pass that judgy DOCG panel. But we are clever so if we look for a DOCG Nebbiolo from elsewhere. Ever had a Valtellina ? I tried some new ones but my thoughts kept returning to: 2014 Arpepe Rosso di Valtellina It is silky and floral but also tough. The tannins grip you gently. This is tough love. 5) We have had bubbles, white, and red…but what rosé may a Virgo drink? I’m going Rosato from the Piemonte. Which is no coincidence given why I consider Burgundy the most Virgo of wines: Piemonte is considered the Burgundy of Italy in terms of their current passion for singling out vineyards. 2016 Fontanafredda “Solerose” Langhe Rosato DOC A fun rich dry blend o’ Barbera, Dolcetto and Nebbiolo. It has that characteristic Italian undercurrent of earth with balsamic vinegar coursing through its veins. All underneath tart fruit. Strong. And wise. Like Beyoncé. Which brings me to the last factor in Virgo wine. 6) What does Beyoncé drink?! A couple of years back the bf was alerted that the Queen and her fella were coming into his restaurant and he was to locate some Armand de Brignac Ace of Spades and also some In & Out for them. So that is the answer. Luckily, for my birthday a few years back, a friend who acquired a bottle for being a contest judge kindly allowed me to open: Armand de Brignac Ace of Spades Brut Rosé Champagne It is really good stuff. I am realizing I put it on Delectable but left no notes. So consider this. It had the perfect plushness and delicacy but the bottle is such fun I felt justified in drinking straight out of it. If you have Beyoncé money go ahead and get some. If you don’t, well then, there is always In and Out.